You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if....
- You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies
- Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro
- Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket
- Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um
- You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes
- When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie
- You get really excited about a 2% pay raise
- You learn about your layoff on CNN
- Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes
- You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet
- Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World
countries' annual budgets combined
- You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive
- It's dark when you drive to and from work
- Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else
- Communication is something your group is having problems with
- You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor
- Free food left over from meetings is your main staple
- Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home
- Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital
- Art involves a white board
- You're already late on the assignment you just got
- When 100% of your time means 20 hours
- You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow,
thanks!"
- Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube
- Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your
spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for
you."
- Vacation is something you rollover to next year or a check you get every January
- Your relatives and family describe our job as "works with computers"
- Change is the norm
- Nepotism is encouraged
- The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your
cube
- You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting
- You read this entire list and understood it.