My wife and I went to my high school reunion. I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'she was my old girlfriend. She took to drinking after we broke up and I heard she hasn't been sober since.'
'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'