Life in the corporate world


You know you work in corporate America in the 90's if....

* You sat at the same desk for 4 years and worked for three different companies
* Your company welcome sign is attached with Velcro
* Your resume is on a diskette in your pocket
* Your company logo on your badge is applied with stick-um
* You order your business cards in "half orders" instead of whole boxes
* When someone asks about what you do for a living, you lie
* You get really excited about a 2% pay raise
* You learn about your layoff on CNN
* Your biggest loss from a system crash is that you lose your best jokes
* You sit in a cubicle smaller than your bedroom closet
* Salaries of the members on the Executive Board are higher than all the Third World countries' annual budgets combined
* You think lunch is just a meeting to which you drive
* It's dark when you drive to and from work
* Fun is when issues are assigned to someone else
* Communication is something your group is having problems with
* You see a good looking person and know it is a visitor
* Free food left over from meetings is your main staple
* Weekends are those days your spouse makes you stay home
* Being sick is defined as can't walk or you're in the hospital
* Art involves a white board
* You're already late on the assignment you just got
* When 100% of your time means 20 hours
* You work 200 hours for the $100 bonus check and jubilantly say "Oh wow, thanks!"
* Dilbert cartoons hang outside every cube
* Your boss' favorite lines are "when you get a few minutes", "in your spare time", "when you're freed up", and "I have an opportunity for you."
* Vacation is something you rollover to next year or a check you get every January
* Your relatives and family describe our job as "works with computers"
* Change is the norm
* Nepotism is encouraged
* The only reason you recognize your kids is because their pictures are hanging in your cube
* You only have makeup for fluorescent lighting
* You read this entire list and understood it.