Humor

Viruses

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PAUL REVERE VIRUS
This revolutionary virus doesn't horse around. It warns you of impending hard disk attack - One if by LAN, two if by C.

HILLARY CLINTON VIRUS
Files disappear only to reappear a year later, in another directory.

PBS VIRUS
Your program stops every few minutes to ask for money.

JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS
Your programs can never be found again.

KEVORKIAN VIRUS
Helps your computer shut down as an act of mercy.

STAR TREK VIRUS
Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.

HEALTH CARE VIRUS
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4500.

ADAM AND EVE VIRUS
Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.

FREUDIAN VIRUS
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

GALLUP VIRUS
60% of the PC's infected will lose 30% of their data 14% of the time (plus or minus a 3.5% margin of error).

OLLIE NORTH VIRUS
Causes your printer to become a paper shredder.

NIKE VIRUS
Just does it.

AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

CONGRESSIONAL VIRUS
Your computer locks up and the screen splits in half with the same message appearing on both sides. The message says that the blame for the gridlock is caused by the other side.

O.J. SIMPSON VIRUS
You know it's guilty of trashing your system but you can't prove it beyond a reasonable doubt.