Voter Management 101


One of the political parties offers a highly popular course (required for graduation with a B.S. degree) at its famous Political University (PU). The course description follows.

Voter Management 101. No credit. Introduction to methods for managing voter turnout at the polls.

After successfully completing this course, the student will be able to produce positive votes by (1) raising large amounts of money; (2) identifying voters of his/her persuasion or those s/he can easily manipulate; (3) using all available technologies to keep track of and communicate with these voters to ensure that they vote; (4) spinning issues and staying on message; (5) constructing successful marketing campaigns (using primarily the TV medium); and (6) providing for the welfare of financial contributors.

The student will also be able to prevent negative votes by (1) reducing opposing candidates’ character to a few negative but memorable words; (2) distorting those candidates’ positions on the issues to within one inch of untruth; (3) stressing the resulting character reduction and position distortions in the marketing campaign (especially in short TV ads); and (4) expending large sums of money to blast these ads at the public.

Prevention is the more important course goal. A key concept is that there is no inhibition, whether legal or moral, in eliminating or at least reducing negative votes.

Interestingly, the other political party is aware of the highly effective methods taught in this course and has long attempted to emulate them, with varying degrees of success.